Finally - a quiz!

Re-reading the entries of my blog, I see a pattern emerging: I write something I think is pretty funny, and then I keep doing that until it gets tiresome. Then I write something somber and reflective. Then I write something funny. Then I suddenly feel a craving for human flesh, so under the accusing eye of the full moon I stalk and kill a prostitute. The whole thing repeats itself.

Now I have a feeling that what this blog needs is more interactive stuff, so I have devised a small quiz. This is the premise:

Because of your superior cleverness, you have been selected by the government to travel back in time in a newly invented time machine. By warping the space-time continuum, temporal engineers have managed to create a gateway to the past. The travel itself takes only the blink of an eye. You will stay in the past for a period of one year, and then automatically return to the present. Because of the complicated workings of temporal mechanics, nothing you do in the past will affect the future, and other than what you choose to tell, no details of your experience will be known.

Now here’s the snag: The technology is still in its infancy. The time gate is a primitive prototype fuelled by enormous quantities of white truffles. On its three unmanned trial runs it has proven itself to be unreliable, imprecise and unstable. It might not be able to make another trip after this one. So not only is it a one shot deal, the temporal engineers can’t predict your exact exit point. They can only guarantee you that you will materialize on dry land somewhere on Earth, within the last 10.000 years.

For practical reasons (remember the truffles?) you can take very little cargo with you. The scientists have prepared a list, from which you may pick only three items:

1) The Paranoia Pack: Helmet and full body armour with camouflage for all terrain types and seasons, an assault rifle, a handgun, lots of ammunition, hand grenades, binoculars, a machete. READY!

2) The Medi-kit: First aid stuff, bandages, a surgeon’s kit, a small pharmacy including opiate derivatives and penicillin, books on medicine and healing plants. Short of decapitation, you can fix it.

3) The Treasure Chest: Gold, silver, diamonds and gems, valid currency from all time periods. Includes a small vial of poison hidden in a fingerring.

4) The Overnight Bag: A year’s supply of the birth control method of your choice, all manner of alcohol, drugs, aphrodisiacs, some sex toys and a paperback. Also contains a mirror, soap, toothpaste and a shaving kit.

5) The Flightcase: Paper, pencils, recording equipment, camera, camcorder, lots of tape, film, batteries and off course gaffer tape. You get the feeling the scientists want you to pick this one.

6) The Suitcase: Costumes from all time periods, a sowing kit, hair and skin dye, false beards and other disguises, maps from all areas of the earth and all time periods. All you’d need to blend in, escape and evade.

7) The Berlitz Parleur: Two-week intensive language course for every known language or dialect throughout human history. Could come in handy if you need to talk to someone.

8) The Tool Box: What you need to build more or less anything you want. Includes instruction blue prints on easy-to-build structures, machines and inventions.

9) The Calendarium: Precise day-to-day almanac of all historical time, with recordings of all known major events. This will enable you to plan ahead and make prophetic, god-like predictions.

10) The Lunch Box: Food for a year - what if you get hungry? There’s also a water-filtering device.

So what will it be? Pick three items and I’ll tell you where you’re going.